Bear Stew #6

Bear Stew #6
Tasty Manbytes Served Steaming Hot
by Ron Suresha

I’m already queuing up for what I might term “Bears in War: The Movie.” No, not drool-icious Brendan Gleesen in Troy, but The Baghdad Blog, a film to be adapted from the sensational wartime online diary (published this year by Grove Press) of bear Salam Pax. The balding, gay, 30-year-old Iraqi furball Pax wrote his Weblog, Dear Raed, to a Jordanian friend, describing the war from downtown Baghdad, and has earned global fame and a hot new movie deal, thus likely becoming the world’s most eligible bear.

At the height of the war, Pax’s extended family sought refuge from the bombing at his home in western Baghdad, admittedly risking their safety by erecting a satellite dish to transmit his blog. The e-journal became an Internet sensation during the Iraq war, featuring stark yet droll descriptions of the horrors and hardships of Iraqi citizens.

Pax thoughtfully recalls Iraqi gay life under Saddam’s brutal reign, when going out to fraternize with foreigners or even friends could cost your life:

[Under Saddam] you never know what the punishment for anything is, you just disappear. And your family’s told it’s better not to ask. You might get the person in a bodybag after a year, you might never see them again, or you might see them after a month. . . . When my [boy]friend, Hassanain, disappeared, my parents were saying ‘You’re not going to that place any more, you’re not calling him any more, you’re staying put at home for the next week.’ Just being associated with someone who disappeared was a bad mark.

Today, although Iraqi society remains highly homophobic, his dilemmas are less life-threatening — such as choosing the right lead actor in Salam Pax, the movie. “George Clooney . . . of course.” We should be so lucky.

Salam Pax. Photo: Kate Geraghty

* * *

Last column finished with a distinctively bearish bridegroom preparing for his wedding on the cover of The New Yorker. Since then, a handful of bear couples have reported online to SpunkDaddy getting hitched in California, New York, Oregon, and probably elsewhere, too.

Exclusive here at Bear Stew: at last, gay bears legally married in Massachusetts! Among the dozens of Bay State couples wed the historic morning of Monday, May 17th, I interviewed two handsome husbears — Chuck Walker and his partner of two years, Mike Reed, from Woods Hole, Massachusetts. This woofy couple emerged radiantly from town hall, wearing complementary fur-revealing open-neck shirts handsewn by Chuck, holding their license papers. “I’ve got goosebumps,” Chuck said, and indeed we could see the excited flesh on his hairy arms.

As a couple living together, Mike and Chuck exemplify the need for same-sex civil marriage. A self-employed builder, Mike can now gain access to less expensive healthcare through Chuck’s workplace insurance. An example of the difference in cost to their household, they explained, was their costs for the pre-nup bloodwork: five dollars for Chuck, but for Mike, more than $100.

Mike expressed trepidation that “the powers-that-be will strip us of our rights.” Earlier, state troopers in bright orange jackets and local police walked prominently through the gathering crowd, their stolid presence assuring rather than threatening. But for now, among the scattering of couples in front of Town Hall receiving blessings from dozens of cheering well-wishers, chatting with the international and local media, both Chuck and Mike felt safe that their dreams to be married will be realized. They were prepared to wait the three days until Thursday, May 20th, when relatives arrived in Ptown for a simple ceremony with a local Justice presiding. Their immediate plans were to “get breakfast, explore the town,” and, upon return to Woods Hole, dig into “some home reno” on the house.

Mike Reed and Chuck Walker. Photo: R. Suresha

Your correspondent SpunkDaddy is tickled purple to report that in April, on not one but both furry knees, I proposed to my main squeeze, Daddybear Incarnate Dr Rocco — truly the most wonderful man on God’s Woofy Earth. Lucky for both of us, he agreed to tie my knot in a private ceremony in Ptown, where we met, on our anniversary this October. Of course, he has pledged to uphold the macho queer family values we hold firm here at Bear Stew.

To our legally (and otherwise) married bearguys and all GLBTQ newlyweds everywhere, we wish you unending happiness in your new lives together.

Until next time, grrrfolks!

This column first appeared in American Bear magazine #62, August/September 2004.