| Bear Stew #12 Tasty Manbytes Served Steaming Hot by Ron Suresha |
| Deaf gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender folks have had their own subsubculture long before bears. Deafness, like being queer, is not necessarily apparent, and thus a deaf “closet” exists, where hard-of-hearing people try to “pass” in mainstream culture without betraying their “handicap.” Many deaf queers feel that, whether from heredity or environment, their deafness, like their sexuality, is an innate personal characteristic that requires no “fixing.” Deaf culture has developed its own language, customs, community formations, and culture that are valid in their own right. Antisexual religious zealots have persecuted both groups rigorously for their differences from “normal” folks and in some ways stigmatized deafness more severely than homosexuality. Raymond Luczak is perhaps the best-known gay deaf bear, and for good reason. The fur-faced poet and dramatist was featured at two PAWS performances at IBR, signing several ursorotic poems that were voice-interpreted. Ray is the editor of twice-Lammy-finalist anthology Eyes of Desire: A Deaf Gay/Lesbian Reader, and author of the poetry collection Men with Their Hands. As of Autumn 2005, RayÕs looking for writing submissions for a second deaf GLBTQ anthology: find out more now at Ray’s website. A significant portion of non-deaf bearmen in various communities are fluent in sign for many interesting reasons. Some folks know sign because they have a deaf parent or family member. Others had a deaf partner, like songwriter Mark Weigle, who often interprets/performs himself in ASL his classic lovesong “When I See You Say” to a recording of his voice and guitar. Others, like myself, learned sign to become a professional interpreter and because it’s fun to learn sign language, or for other reasons. Deaf men often find bears much more relaxed about communicating with deaf folks, and more accepting than other gay/bi men in social settings. Like bears, deaf gay and bi men often feel doubly ostracized because they don’t fit in even with the gaystream. Standing outside the Manhattan LGBT Center before my Bear Café reading for Bear Lust, the husbear Rocco and I ran into bears-about-town Carlos Abreau, who recently started online NYC bearclub Gotham City Bears, and Bobby Crocker. Since Bobby’s deaf, and the three of us hearing guys know some sign language, we intercoursed about many bearish matters combining sign and speaking. Here’s how to sign whatever-the-hell WOOF means: holding your dominant hand palm out, tap the middle and ring fingers together against the thumb several times, holding upright the index finger and pinky. Use a slight forward motion toward the person(s) you are woofing, look directly at him/them, and mouth or speak the word WOOF with each movement. Undoubtedly you’ll identify the iconography of wolf howling, bear growling, or dog barking, but the beauty of the sign is that it allows the signer to tweak the (presumably furry and consenting) nipples of the woofee, especially when both hands are used repeatedly in similar or alternating motions. A letter from a dear bearpal, Pax, an incredibly sweet and sexy Irishbear, a leader in the deaf queer theatre community, includes his picture showing him standing in a blue windbreaker and jeans at a craggy coastal location. On the back he writes, “Pax @ Northern Ireland after McCarthy’s Blarney Castle @ Cork, Ir.” I’m thrilled to hear he visited Ireland. Pax has taught ASL to deaf children and to his local New England Bears club, as well as ASL drama and performance interpreting, and written and directed deaf theatre. A fairly common but fun question at bear contests is: “Without using your voice, how would you make love to a hot deaf bear?” The contestant then pantomimes how he would seduce another big hairy guy. If you’ve never tried it, let me assure you, making love in sign to a sexy deaf bearguy differs from what you might expect. You can’t whisper in the heat of the climax, “Yeah, shoot your hot load all over my chest but not in my eyes,” for example. ASL demands greater visual attention to the physical space around the signer (speaker) than spoken languages, and there are considerations for alternate safe signs during bondage play. For sure, having sex with a deaf man is challenging Ð it requires at least eleven active digits Ð but certainly can be as fun as anybear. I promise to reveal to you details of my brief affair with José, another deaf bearman I met in Madrid, who captured my heart – for one amazing evening. This column, Bear Stew #12, first appeared in American Bear magazine #68, August/September 2005. |
