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Is Michael Musto for Real?

Is Michael Musto for Real?

What is this nonsense about Michael Musto saying he doesn’t believe in bisexuals, based on his frustrated attempts at relationships with married men on Manhunt or Craig’s List or wherever he meets these closet cases?

I know the Village Voice columnist, Michael Musto, or at least I thought I knew the dude. But how could it possibly be Michael Musto saying those horrible, ignorant, misleading things about bi men?

OK, I’ve seen Michael Musto on TV and read his column in the Voice, so I think I should know Michael Musto. But it couldn’t really be the same Michael Musto I met at the Lammies two years ago. The kinda cute clean-shaven short Jewish guy to whom I introduced myself that evening? I thought I met the real Michael Musto there, but apparently it was someone else who looked and talked a whole lot like him.

Either that, or I made zero impression on the guy. Because the guy I chatted with was wearing a badge saying “Michael Musto,” and he asked about my work, and I told him I was the editor of two books named as finalists for the first ever Lambda Literary Award given for Bisexual Literature. I know I was there, for sure — I still have my name badge from the event.

Because how could the smart, charming person I chatted with that memorable evening write such a thoughtless and hurtful diatribe against married bi men under Michael Musto’s imprimateur?

I can only surmise that Michael Musto is not real. He’s a fake.

This so-called Michael Musto has somehow replaced the real Michael Musto, and whoever is impersonating Michael Musto is doing an amazing job.

Perhaps the real Michael Musto was kidnapped by the Russian mafia, and replaced by an undercover operative who’s a ringer, pretending to be a brilliant journalist.

Otherwise, I just can’t believe that the real Michael Musto would know absolutely nothing about the existence of actual bisexual men, being a supporter of the Lambda Literary Foundation, which for the third year in a row now is presenting an award for excellence in the area of bisexual literature.

Or maybe more likely, aliens abducted the real Michael Musto, cloned him, and took the original back to their planet for further “research” (and he went willingly, anticipating one if not many of those thrilling anal probes he’s heard so much about), leaving the duplicate in the real Michael Musto’s place.

Let’s set aside the conspiracy theories and the point that he offers no explanation for the existence of bi women and consider this serious matter for a moment.

Because you would think that the real Michael Musto would have the common sense to do some sort of actual research about the topic before he declared the complete nonexistence of bisexuals and bisexuality, based on his assertion to have never personally met a real bisexual man.

Wasn’t that Michael Musto I met at the awards ceremony in May 2007 in NYC? Because if the real Michael Musto had actually been there, he surely would have seen Mike Szymanksi (who is a real bisexual man) and Nicole Kristal (a real bisexual woman) accept the Lammy for their delightful book, The Bisexual’s Guide to the Universe.

I guess he could have gone out for a smoke or a drink or something and have missed that part of the awards ceremony, but what about the two years since then? Was Michael Musto living in a complete intellectual vacuum that whole time?

I find it impossible to believe that, given his exposure to bisexuality as part of the accepted fabric of queer literature, the genuine Michael Musto would question the existence of bisexuality.

I can’t possibly accept that Michael Musto would be so shallow and stupid, and so that inevitably leads me to this conclusion: Michael Musto, or whoever wrote that column and signed it Michael Musto, can’t be real.

And if Michael Musto isn’t real, he cannot said to exist. Michael Musto must be, therefore, a nonbeing. Not only that, anyone named Michael Musto probably never is or ever has been for “real.”

I feel sad for Michael Musto. He seemed like someone whom I could believe.

musto

Or then again, maybe not so much.

Blogged on my site here.

Published by Ron Suresha

Ron Jackson Suresha is an editor, anthologist, and writer. He is considered an authority on emergent queer masculinities, in particular the subcultures of gay and bi male Bears and of male bisexuality. For Ron's service to the bear community, he was named "Bear of the Year" 2008. Born in Detroit, Michigan, Suresha attended the University of Michigan (Ann Arbor, 1976-8), where he studied creative writing, and Vista College (Berkeley, Cal., 1989-92), where he studied American Sign Language. For more than two decades, he has worked as a freelance proofreader for trade book publishers such as Shambhala Publications. He was married in October 2004 to Rocco Russo. He is also a licensed Justice of the Peace in Connecticut, an ordained minister, ULC, and a member of the New London Green Party. Nonfiction works include Bears on Bears: Interviews & Discussions; Bi Men: Coming Out (coeditor, with Pete Chvany); Bisexual Perspectives on the Life and Work of Alfred C. Kinsey (editor). His latest book is The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah Nasruddin: Stories, jests, and donkey tales of the beloved Persian folk hero, published by Lethe Press.