To dye, or not to dye?
In the 1960s, my mother used the euphemism “home rinse” for dyeing her hair a blue-black color that eventually I figured out what the expression “Blue-haired lady” represented. Back then, there were few shades women could choose, and hair coloring for men was nonexistent. Men’s hair coloring has since become a significant segment of the multibillion-dollar hair care product industry.
The increasing popularity of men’s hair color products seems antithetical to evidence of growing acceptance of all characteristics of mature men — regardless of their age or sexual orientation — including their greying hair. Ask any Hunter if he would object to having a salt-and-pepper, grey, silver, or white-haired Daddy, and it’s likely he’ll not mind in the least — the Hunter is even likely to protest.
Although we know that lots of older dudes of all stripes — gay, straight, and bi — dye their hair as a way of looking younger or an expression of personal style, but there’s still a unspoken taboo about the emerging male popumunity* known as MWHDTFH: men who home-dye their facial hair.
Some men in the bear/leather/masculinist communities, as well as others, still stigmatize MWHDTFHs. Coloring one’s hair is seen somehow as too prissy or femmy or un-natural because they are only into masculine men, and real guys don’t care how old they look or how they groom themselves, or something like that.
About 6 years ago, I noticed that many of my gay/bi/queer male friends, professionals in their 40s and 50s, were not only dyeing their head hair, but also their moustaches, sideburns, beards — even below the neck. But the funny thing — none of them spoke ever about the topic until I initiated it.
One full-bearded furry 54-year-old accountant friend, whom I’ll call Sam, told me that he looked grey “much earlier than I should have otherwise. As a business owner I felt I needed to look younger to clients, and for years I started using women’s home coloring products. Since my hair is strawberry blond, and my beard is a lighter silver-blond, results were often craptastic and smelled toxic.”
When men’s home dyes first hit the market in 1986, the Combe Co. of White Plains, NY, began manufacturing their men’s hair coloring, Just for Men. Six years later, consumer demand resulted in another product that covers grey better on the coarser hair of beards, sideburns, and moustaches. Now the beard and moustache gel, Just for Men for Beards, comes in 11 shades and is available at any CVS or Walgreens.
It took Sam lots of tweaking to find the right shade for his multishaded hair and whiskers, but eventually he found one that worked for him, and now he enjoys his bimonthly “rinse.” “It gives me more confidence, in or out of the office,” Sam said.
Before grappling with the question, To dye, or not to dye?, first take a tip on dyeing your hair and beard from the JFM experts. Bear in mind there’s no hiding your home-done dye job up close from a professional hair stylist, and of course your closest friends will notice. And if you do a really bad job, everyone will know.
Whether you’re a MWDTFH, a MWDTFH Hunter, or just MWHDTF-curious, if you decide to dye your hair, have some dignity and don’t try to cover up the fact that you’re covering up your grey.
As Sam comments wryly, stroking his handsome sandy-blonde beard, “Men should definitely have no shame about dyeing as they get older.”
To which we can add only: Happy MWHDTFH Pride!
*popumunity : socioeconomic population / community
