Meeting the Savage Dan with Love

Meeting the Savage Dan with Love

The NY Pride parade arrives at the end of the route.


Christopher St., Sunday June 26th, NY Pride 2011

Yesterday at the very end of NYC Pridefest I and my husband Rocco met sex(y) columnist and gay media pundit Dan Savage, at the end of the parade. We shook hands over a barricade and spoke maybe 90 seconds. On second thought, it may have been more like a minute, but it seemed longer perhaps because I found it a very pleasant, positive, meaningful moment.

Dan had for his Stranger Pride column this week even tried to unpack some of the conflict he’s had with bisexual activists.

In our encounter, Dan appeared to be quite sensitive of the animosity toward him from the bi community, and willing to admit he’s made errors in his writing about bisexuality, and that in reacting to the very negative ad hominem attacks from certain of his readers he made a misstep with this. He regrets it but seems eager to make it right.

He agreed when I said I felt he was trying to come to a better understanding of bisexuality and bi people and that he actually wants to reach out to the bi community.

I offered him copies of my bi books and BAON. Obviously he cannot travel with books, but he thanked me for them and asked me to send them to him in Seattle, and for reaching out without rancor to him. I feel reasonably sure that Dan wants to do some sincere research and then interact with at least one bi activist.

I will make sure that Dan will follow up on this. Personally, I feel that he will likely apologize, correct his statements, and eventually become a fabulous bi ally, but in a world of endless possibilities, you never know. He deserves to be given the opportunity and time to fix it.

To my bi activist sisters and brothers I say: let’s celebrate our other spectacular victories and focus our defensive energies on the people who are really trying to hurt us. I am asking everyone to relax and for now suspend further hostile or antagonistic communications to and about him.

Watch this space for updates today with further details of the meeting and my follow up. Thanks, and a very happy Bi Pride to everyone.

Author: Ron Suresha

Ron Jackson Suresha is an editor, anthologist, and writer. He is considered an authority on emergent queer masculinities, in particular the subcultures of gay and bi male Bears and of male bisexuality. For Ron's service to the bear community, he was named "Bear of the Year" 2008. Born in Detroit, Michigan, Suresha attended the University of Michigan (Ann Arbor, 1976-8), where he studied creative writing, and Vista College (Berkeley, Cal., 1989-92), where he studied American Sign Language. For more than two decades, he has worked as a freelance proofreader for trade book publishers such as Shambhala Publications. He was married in October 2004 to Rocco Russo. He is also a licensed Justice of the Peace in Connecticut, an ordained minister, ULC, and a member of the New London Green Party. Nonfiction works include Bears on Bears: Interviews & Discussions; Bi Men: Coming Out (coeditor, with Pete Chvany); Bisexual Perspectives on the Life and Work of Alfred C. Kinsey (editor). His latest book is The Uncommon Sense of the Immortal Mullah Nasruddin: Stories, jests, and donkey tales of the beloved Persian folk hero, published by Lethe Press.