Ron Suresha

Posted By Ron Suresha on June 27, 2009

Thanks again to the TaLL gals for inviting me on their cable access show, and for letting me read my letter to the President, “Obama, Free the Gays.”

Update: I’ll be on the TaLL Show again Wednesday, July 1st to talk about Obama’s meeting with GLBT activists.

nlcTrans June 17, 2009

Author, activist, and anthologist Ron Suresha returns to our show to talk about both being nominated and being a judge for the Lambda Literary Awards.  Ron brings copies of the finalists in the Transgender category and talks about why each book was a finalist.  As always we end up talking politics and current events as well.  Ron reads the letter he wrote to the President, “Obama: Free the Gays.”

Ron on the TALL Show, 6/17/09

Kalli and Tara have also invited me to return as a “regular” guest  again on Weds., July 8 & 22, and more or less every other week afterward, and I’ll be posting segments here.

Category: Bear Stew, Blog, Events, News | No Comments »
Tags: glbtiq writing, GLBTIQA, media, Obama, TALL Group, transgender

Posted By Ron Suresha on June 24, 2009

My letter to the writer of the NY Times article: “Why the Gay Rights Movement Has No National Leader”

Dear Mr Peters:
Contrary to the impression one might get reading your article, there have been gay writers and activists and leaders speaking out, indeed for decades, against homophobic hatred and naming their oppressors, but that is due to its longterm exclusion from access to the media, not because  there isn’t leadership in the GLBTIQ (gay lesbian bi transgender intersex and queer) community.
That the article continually refers to the GLBTIQ movement as the “gay movement” making scant reference to lesbians, and without making reference whatsoever to bisexual men and women, transgender, intersex, and queer-identified persons, who exist in numbers greater than homosexuals, reveals that you are not speaking from inside the GLBTIQ leadership or know much about the current state of the movement.
Further, in my view, that the article considers no more than one or two names of the national leadership indicates little interest in investigating and analyzing the subject, which would require actually contacting GLBTIQ activists and asking them who their leaders are.
If I had been asked, as a GLBTIQ activist, to name a national leader in the sexual minority civil rights movement, I would have named dozens of people, not one, because I believe that a movement needs many leaders, not just one figurehead.

A movement needs many leaders, not just a lone figurehead.

The article fails to appreciate the nature of sexual minorities and the communities in which GLBTIQ persons actually live. These communities all have leaders, but to say that none have come to national prominence is not fact but opinion.
Gay lesbian bisexual and transgender voices are only expressed in mainstream media in the most disparaging terms, usually substituting conjecture for depth. We don’t need heterosexuals talking about GLBTIQ issues, we need gays lesbians bis, and transgender folks relating their own experience.
Until the national media start to proactively seek leaders in the sexual minorities civil rights movement to share their experience and grant them comparable, if not equal, access to discuss their issues, I wouldn’t expect a GLBTIQ leader to rise to national prominence any time soon.

Sincerely,
Ron J Suresha
New London, CT

Category: Blog, News, Shorts | No Comments »
Tags: GLBTIQA, media, politics

Posted By Ron Suresha on June 16, 2009

I had a great time as a guest on The TALL (Transitioning and Loving Life) Group Metrocast cable access show last month, and will be on again tomorrow at 8:00pm! Check out the show: http://thetallgroup.org/archives/76

nlcTrans May 20, 2009

We welcome local author, activist, and anthologist of books centering on gay and bisexual men’s subcultures, Ron Suresha, to the show. We talk about bear identity, gay and bisexual stereotypes, the Kinsey scale, and how Ron met his husbear, Rocco. Ron has been twice [sic] nominated for Lambda Literary Awards for Bisexual Literature including his forthcoming book Bisexual Perspectives on the Life and Work of Alfred C. Kinsey.

Category: Blog, Books, Events | Comments Off
Tags: glbtiq writing, masculinities, New London, Ron's books

Posted By Ron Suresha on June 10, 2009

To dye, or not to dye?

In the 1960s, my mother used the euphemism “home rinse” for dyeing her hair a blue-black color that eventually I figured out what the expression “Blue-haired lady” represented. Back then, there were few shades women could choose, and hair coloring for men was nonexistent. Men’s hair coloring has since become a significant segment of the multibillion-dollar hair care product industry.

The increasing popularity of men’s hair color products seems antithetical to evidence of growing acceptance of all characteristics of mature men — regardless of their age or sexual orientation — including their greying hair. Ask any Hunter if he would object to having a salt-and-pepper, grey, silver, or white-haired Daddy, and it’s likely he’ll not mind in the least — the Hunter is even likely to protest.

Although we know that lots of older dudes of all stripes — gay, straight, and bi — dye their hair as a way of looking younger or an expression of personal style, but there’s still a unspoken taboo about the emerging male popumunity* known as MWHDTFH: men who home-dye their facial hair.

Some men in the bear/leather/masculinist communities, as well as others, still stigmatize MWHDTFHs. Coloring one’s hair is seen somehow as too prissy or femmy or un-natural because they are only into masculine men, and real guys don’t care how old they look or how they groom themselves, or something like that.

About 6 years ago, I noticed that many of my gay/bi/queer male friends, professionals in their 40s and 50s, were not only dyeing their head hair, but also their moustaches, sideburns, beards — even below the neck. But the funny thing — none of them spoke ever about the topic until I initiated it.

One full-bearded furry 54-year-old accountant friend, whom I’ll call Sam, told me that he looked grey “much earlier than I should have otherwise. As a business owner I felt I needed to look younger to clients, and for years I started using women’s home coloring products. Since my hair is strawberry blond, and my beard is a lighter silver-blond, results were often craptastic and smelled toxic.”

When men’s home dyes first hit the market in 1986, the Combe Co. of White Plains, NY, began manufacturing their men’s hair coloring, Just for Men. Six years later, consumer demand resulted in another product that covers grey better on the coarser hair of beards, sideburns, and moustaches. Now the beard and moustache gel, Just for Men for Beards, comes in 11 shades and is available at any CVS or Walgreens.

It took Sam lots of tweaking to find the right shade for his multishaded hair and whiskers, but eventually he found one that worked for him, and now he enjoys his bimonthly “rinse.” “It gives me more confidence, in or out of the office,” Sam said.

Before grappling with the question, To dye, or not to dye?, first take a tip on dyeing your hair and beard from the JFM experts. Bear in mind there’s no hiding your home-done dye job up close from a professional hair stylist, and of course your closest friends will notice. And if you do a really bad job, everyone will know.

Whether you’re a MWDTFH, a MWDTFH Hunter, or just MWHDTF-curious, if you decide to dye your hair, have some dignity and don’t try to cover up the fact that you’re covering up your grey.

As Sam comments wryly, stroking his handsome sandy-blonde beard, “Men should definitely have no shame about dyeing as they get older.”

To which we can add only: Happy MWHDTFH Pride!

Category: Blog, Shorts | Comments Off
Tags: ageing, hair, male issues, masculinities

Posted By Ron Suresha on June 8, 2009

This letter was sent to Whitehouse.gov. Join the Facebook group OBAMA, FREE THE GAYS! at: http://snurl.com/k6020

Obama: Free the Gays!

Dear President Obama,

According to reputable GLBTIQ historians, President Abraham Lincoln had a male companion, Joshua Speed, with whom he shared a bed for several years. Doubtless this extended male contact informed Lincoln’s understanding of the essential humanity of those persons whose only shame is to be the object of their oppressor’s scorn, repulsion, and hatred.

The gays were for Obama, but is Obama for them?

You so greatly honored Lincoln during your inauguration by taking your oath holding his Bible. As the first black President of the USA, you can repay the favor for Lincoln’s abolition of slavery of African Americans and other racial and ethnic minorities, by enacting a nondiscrimination bill that would protect gender and sexual minorities and grant them equal and full status as American taxpayers?

President Obama, like your predecessor Lincoln, you are in a unique position to liberate millions of GLBTIQ citizens from centuries of needless hatred.

Obama doubletalk: Yes you can / No you can't

You understand the exploitation and oppression of gay lesbian bisexual transgender intersex queer questioning and all sexual minorities.

You can lead on civil rights and equality by framing the national debate to recognize that individuals’ sexual autonomy and security is part of their inalienable human rights.

You can affirm that the social benefits of government presently denied to GLBTIQ people and their families should be extended to all regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

You can issue a statement that will affirm the essential civil liberties and human rights of gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, intersex, and queer citizens and the millions of their family members.

I petition you to create a new civil rights act protecting gender and sexual minorities that goes beyond the repeal of DOMA and DADT, or a Transgenderqueer and Intersex inclusive ENDA.

Please, President Obama, free the gays. You can do it. Yes, you can!

yours sincerely,

Ron J. Suresha

New London, CT

Category: Blog, Shorts | Comments Off
Tags: GLBTIQA, Obama, politics

Posted By Ron Suresha on June 2, 2009

Big Time in the Big Apple: Lammies, Bi Media Summit, Bi Lines reading

Lambda Literary Awards

Roc and I had a grand time at the Lambda Literary Awards on Thursday in NYC. We rode in on Amtrak and stayed for a long weekend at the Lammies host hotel, the W Tuscany.

Just minutes before the ceremony, I was informed that a grant I’d applied for researching male triads went to someone else. So that was a disappointment going in.

At the cocktail hour before the event, while hanging out with Felice Picano and his very funny sister and looking around for familiar faces, one of the judges in the Anthology category whom I happened to meet totally brightened my evening, telling me that she loved and had nominated Bi Perspectives on Kinsey as a finalist (presumably she was the only one of the four judges in that category who did so) and that she was keeping it for her personal library, rather than selling or donating as she planned to do for most of the other books.

We were supposedly assigned seats somewhere in the Proshansky Auditorium at CUNY, but wandered around looking for the chair signs until almost the start of the ceremony until Charles Flowers of LLF quickly pointed to two empty seats and we sat down.

The Bisexuality category was pretty much first out the block. And the Lammy went to . . . not my book. It went to Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage, written by Jenny Block (a gorgeous person whom I finally met at the Bi Lines reading). Oh well, third time wasn’t the charm in my case this time around, but let me just add my response to another finalist who asked me as we chatted after the ceremony, What do we do now after not winning the Lammy? “Go home and write a better book than the last one.”

Avenue Q

This was perhaps the most joyous and fun show I’ve ever seen, and the weekend’s highlight for me. I just laughed and chortled myself silly. Roc got us great seats up close and the show was totally magical and irreverent and delightful from start to finish.

TimeOutNY RJS bi myth quote

National Bi Media Summit

In advance of the National Bi Media Summit held at the LGBT Center on Saturday, for which I served as a panelist, TimeOutNY asked several folks to debunk some bi myths. My response seems at this point somewhat off-topic as per the headline/myth they ended up using. Oh well.

Still, my parts on the panels on Bi Myths and Bi Community went quite well, and I got very positive feedback on my comments.

Bi Lines

My “intriguing” reading on Bisexual Perspectives on Kinsey at the Bi Lines performance on Saturday evening was kindly mentioned by the handsome & charming Father Tony of Bilerico blog, who hails from Colchester, CT.

He was quite upset about how the MC and organizer for the evening seemed to rush Edmund White, truly an honored guest. I need to be polite here, but let’s just say that I don’t disagree.

Here’s his blog:

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=92868766828&h=jiT9K&u=dw1W2&ref=mf

Category: Bear Stew, Blog, Books, Events, News | Comments Off
Tags: bisexuality, Events, glbtiq writing, GLBTIQA, media

Posted By Ron Suresha on May 13, 2009

Putting the “B” in LGBT Summit

Day/Time: Sat. May 30, 2009 11am-6:30pm
Place: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center
Address: 208 W. 13 Street, 7-8 Ave, New York NY 10011
Admission: Free

Sponsored by The New York Times Company GLBT & Allies Affinity Group, The Task Force, and Renna Communications
Registration: Go to http://www.gaycenter.org/node/3326

Presented by The Bi Writers Association and The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center

Many people aren’t quite sure how the “B” fits into LGBT. As a result, the “B” often goes missing in press releases, articles and speeches about lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender rights issues. This creates an incorrect public perception of bisexual people, incomplete reporting on LGBT issues and lessens support in the bi community for LGBT rights organizations, publications, and politicians who ignore the “B” in LGBT.
We invite everyone who writes about LGBT rights issues — LGBT activists, journalists (LGBT & straight), bloggers, political office staff and bi activists — to join together to brainstorm about how this can be remedied. We also welcome anyone who would like to learn more about the myths and realities of bisexuality. Meet bi speakers who are married to a same-sex partner, have suffered military discrimination, and job discrimination.
Keynote Speaker: Robyn Ochs (Editor, Getting Bi, Honoree of Natl. Gay & Lesbian Task Force, marriage equality activist)

Plenary and Panel Speakers: Chagmion Antoine (Correspondent for 365 Gay News, Logo Channel), Cindi Creager (National News Director, GLAAD), Tom Duane (NY State Senator) Cynthia Frawley (Producer, Out Q in the Morning with Larry Flick, Sirius Radio), Oriol Gutierrez (Board, Natl. Lesbian & Gay Journalists Assoc, Dep. Editor, POZ), Loraine Hutchins (Editor, Bi Any Other Name), Ramon Johnson (Gay Life Guide at New York Time’s About.com), Micah Kellner (New York State Assembly Member), Sean Kennedy (News & Features Editor, The Advocate), Sheela Lambert (Founder, Bi Writers Association), Denny Meyer (Public Affairs Officer, AVER: American Veterans for Equal Rights), Ann Northrop (Co-Anchor, Gay USA), Pauline Park (NYAGRA), Donna Redd (Founder, SiSTAH, Co-Founder Bi Women of All Colors), Cathy Renna (Managing Partner, Renna Communications), Ignacio Rivera, activist/performance artist, Lara Schwartz (Legal Director, HRC), Dennis Slade (Co-Organizer, BiRequest), Hawk Stone (Board Member, Natl. Gay & Lesbian Task Force), Ron Suresha (Editor, Bisexual Perspectives on Kinsey, Bi Men), Jay Venasco (Editor in Chief, 365 Gay.com) Dr. Barbara Warren (Director of Organizational Development, Planning & Research, The Center). More speakers TBA.

Program: Putting the “B” in LGBT Summit
11-12 Registration, Free Continental Breakfast & Shmooze
12-1:00 Opening Plenary
Putting the “B” in LGBT
Keynote Speaker: Robyn Ochs, Editor of Getting Bi, Honoree of The Gay and Lesbian Task Force and marriage equality activist.
1:15-2:00 Bisexuality: Exploding the Myths
Panel of experts will explode myths and stereotypes about bisexuality and explain the realities. Dont be afraid to ask questions!
2:00-2:30 Lunch & Networking
Inexpensive & healthy lunches will be available for purchase.
2:30-3:45 Bi Community Panel: Telling Our Stories
Panel of bi speakers discuss how LGBT rights issues such as Marriage Equality, Military Discrimination and Job Discrimination impact their lives. Q&A following presentation.
4:00-4:45 Crafting the Message: How to Put the “B” in LGBT
Practicum on putting the ‘B’ in LGBT in a press release, news story, policy paper, speech or interview on LGBT rights issues. How to report more accurately on bisexuality.
5:00-6:30 Closing Plenary Discussion
Putting the “B” in LGBT: How can we do a better job?
Roundtable discussion by distinguished LGBT rights activists, media professionals, political office holders and bi community activists. Audience participation welcomed.

More info on Bi Visibility Weekend at: http://biwriters.livejournal.com/78162.html

Category: Blog, Events | Comments Off
Tags: bisexuality, Events, GLBTIQA, media

Posted By Ron Suresha on May 1, 2009

Ron (in the silver suit and Vans, 2d on left) and Roc dancing at the LMAF celebration, Eat Drink and Be Married!

Category: Blog, Events | Comments Off
Tags: GLBTIQA

Posted By Ron Suresha on April 27, 2009

We met Sandy at his reading at the Mystic Arts Center, and also got to meet his partner Chip. They are really lovely folks who have a home not too far away in SE Connecticut. I adore Sandy’s poetry and, as it turns out, Chip is a fan of my bear fiction. I like this piece from R. Jackson, who sent me something he wrote for his former blog on Daddyhunt, which they have yet to publish.

Older gay man J.D. McClatchy named arts honor society president

J. D. McClatchy, 2009.

Following Mark Doty’s achievement of winning a National Book Award in November, another distinguished mature American gay male poet has been honored. In February, J.D. “Sandy” McClatchy, was named president of the American Academy of Arts and Letters.
An English professor at Yale University, McClatchy was elected ten years ago to join the elite society of only 250 writers, composers, artists, and architects, considered the highest formal recognition of artistic achievement in the United States.
Founded in 1898, the Academy’s purpose is “to foster and sustain an interest in Literature, Music, and the Fine Arts by identifying and encouraging individual artists,” according to its Website.
McClatchy, 57, who also serves as editor of the prestigious literary journal Yale Review, said he was notified in an anonymous phone call that he would be elected president for the three-year term — and that he was the sole candidate.
McClatchy asked the caller, who identified himself only as a painter on the appointment committee, if he could consider the matter before deciding, and was basically told that wasn’t an option. “Well, it’s rude to say no to a stranger, and of course it’s an honor because this is an organization that does extraordinary and often unsung work.”
A Guggenheim fellow and author of six collections of poetry and thirteen opera libretti, McClatchy’s 2002 poetry book, Hazmat, was a Pulitzer Award finalist.
His latest collection, Mercury Dressing, was published in February by Knopf.
McClatchy lives in Connecticut with his partner, the noted graphic designer and author Chip Kidd.

Reprinted by permission of R. Jackson
J. D. McClatchy photo: Benjamin Dimmitt. Image from: http://www.artsandletters.org/press_releases/web_mcclatchy.jpg

Category: Blog, Books, News, Shorts | Comments Off
Tags: Books, glbtiq writing

Posted By Ron Suresha on April 25, 2009

Gay.com needs education in bi male sexuality

Is ignorance about bisexuality in fashion (again), or what? This featured Gay.com piece about bi men (”Op-Ed: Can Guys Actually Be Bisexual?”) seems based on the premise that it’s clever and fashionable to go around repeating bitchy lies, myths, and fairytales about bi men without doing the teeny-tiniest smidgeon of research into the subject.

What comes across is that the writer has zero or limited, furtive contact with bi men, and he wants to make a grand display of his ignorance about bisexual men, closeted married guys, in particular, and to vent his frustration that good-looking married men won’t leave their wifes and lives for him. (I assume the oped writer is male.)

Even still, is it too much to ask the oped writer to do any sort of actual research into the topic before writing the piece? And to learn “its” from “it’s”?

A search on Amazon for a book on the topic of bisexuality certainly would have led him to discover a very informative and funny book, which won a Lammy in Bisexuality (yes, Gay.com, there is a BISEXUAL LITERATURE) which I cannot recommend enough.

The Bisexual’s Guide to the Universe: Quips, Tips, and Lists for Those Who Go Both Ways

But is it really too much work for him to read a single book or interview at least one authority on bisexuality like Mike Szymanski on the topic?

And the mysogyny and gynophobia in this statement is really pathetic:

> do they really enjoy eating pussy (ooh, I think I just puked in my mouth a bit) and having sex with women, too?

Whoever wrote that needs an education. And counseling. And a good hard spanking.

I wonder why Gay.com is having people who know squat about sexuality, who say hateful things about women, write their op-ed pieces?

I don’t know what they’re paying that guy, but I know at least one unemployed columnist who can do a whole lot better for probably the same amount. Does it reallly cost Gay.com much more to pay people with brains and a heart to write their oped pieces?

Category: Blog, Books, News | 1 Comment »
Tags: bisexuality, Books, GLBTIQA